My first Snupin fic...I'm worried, are you? :P

Title: Courting Severus Snape
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Humour
Pairing: RL/SS
Warnings: Not much. Rated for language and suggestion of possible
Summary: Remus decides to court Severus. A day-by-day, dialogue account.

Comments and criticisms much appreciated :)



Day 1

“Lupin.”
“Severus.”
“To what do I owe the…pleasure of this visit?”
“I have made a decision.”
“I see. And you believe that I care because...?”
“Because it directly involves you, of course.”
“Of course. Well then, by all means.”
“I have decided to court you.”
“...What?”
“I have decided to pursue you in hope of starting a romantic relationship.”
“...Hilarious Lupin, now if you will excuse me—“
“I’m very serious Severus. Please allow me to take you to dinner.”
“I thought you were beyond the childish pranks of our schooldays, but evidently I was mistaken.”
“You are not mistaken, and I am not humoring you, Severus.”
“You are, and I see no reason to encourage it any further. Good day.”

Day 2

“Lupin.”
“Severus.”
“Am I to assume that these are for me?”
“Yes. I brought you chocolates.”
“Lupin.”
“Severus?”
“There is chocolate on your mouth.”
“I had to eat one to ensure their quality.”
“One?”
“One.”
“...”
“...Five.”
“Lupin.”
“...I left you one.”
“For Merlin’s sake…”

Day 3

“Lupin.”
“Severus. I bought tickets to the opera. Would you care to join me?”
“And which opera, pray tell, have you purchased tickets for?”
“Strauss’ Salome.”
“Salome? A rarity.”
“Yes. I would enjoy your company.”
“And you thought that I would enjoy this particular opera.”
“Well... I thought that perhaps the idea of seeing an opera about a head being served on a silver platter would entice you out with me if I myself could not. You do have that silver platter beside your night table, I thought that perhaps it was—“
“Did you mean this platter Lupin? The one that will be thrown in your direction if you do not leave this instant?”
“But I’m allergic to—AAAHH!“
“Damn, I missed.”

Day 4

“Lupin.”
“Severus.”
“You still intend on courting me?”
“What ever gave you that idea, Severus?”
“The fact that you have situated yourself uncomfortably close to me, and that your hand is moving discomfittingly close to my crotch.”
“Oh that.”
“Stop that this instant.”
“What?”
“...That.”
“...This?”
“Mm…Yes, that.”
“Or this?”
“Lu…”
“...”
“...Get out.”
“No.”
“Cruc-“
“Ok, ok.”

Day 5

“Lupin.”
“Severus.”
“What makes you think that my sexual preference would allow for a relationship with you?”
“Well, there was your fling with Lucius back in 6th year.”
“I never had a relationship with Lucius Malfoy. That man loves only himself.”
“Which is why you dumped him, I would imagine.”
“That is NOT why I dumped him.”
“I see.”
“...Well shit.”

Day 6

“Lupin.”
“Severus.”
“...”
“...”
“...well?”
“Can I come in to talk?”
“No.”
“Here then. Why do you hate me?”
“I do not hate you, Lupin.”
“Then why won’t you give me a chance?”
“Let’s see…you did try to kill me.”
“That was years ago.”
“You were enamoured with that worthless imbecile Black.”
“I was not. And he is dead.”
“...I...regret that I mentioned it.”
“Severus, did you just apologize?”
“...no.”
“Yes you did.”
“No I did not.”
“Did too.”
“Did not.”
“Did too.”
“Cruci-“
“You know, you need to believe in an unforgivable to be able to cast it.”
“...I do.”
“But you just said you didn’t hate me.”
“...damn your logic.”

Day 6

“Do you not tire of this, Lupin?”
“I wouldn’t tire of you so easily, Severus.”
“...And what makes you think that I have not tired of your constant pestering?”
“The fact that you didn’t smite me down the first evening I announced my intentions. And also the fact that every night at 7:00pm I knock on your door, and every night, knowing that it’s me, you open it.”
“...”

Day 7

“...Lupin.”
“Severus.”
“...”
“What is it that frightens you so much about a relationship, Severus? What exactly is it that you think you have to lose?”
“You.”
“...”
“If we were together...if the Dark Lord ever found out...”
“Severus...”
“I don’t think he would ever stop laughing at me.”
“...”
“Please Lupin, that scowl doesn’t suit you.”

Day 8

“Lupin.”
“Severus. Are you saying that you don’t even want to try?”
“No.”
“...no what? That you don’t want to try or no that’s not what you are saying?”
“Yes.”
“...”
“You know, Lupin, I think I have found a new hobby.”
“And what would that be Severus?”
“Frustrating you.”
“...”
“Once again Lupin, that scowl is positively a pout.”
“...”
“While you’re here, I should tell you. My comment last time wasn’t completely in jest.”
“Which comment?”
“About if the Dark Lord were to find out.”
“...Severus...”
“Never stop laughing.”
“...Glad you seem to have found a sense of humour.”
“Yes...sadly I don’t think it will carry into the classroom.”

Day 11

“...Severus.”
“Lupin.”
“What a pleasant surprise. What can I do for you?”
“You have been missing these past two nights.”
“Yes...well, the night before was the full moon and I wasn’t quite feeling up to it last night, my apologies.”
“Understood, of course. I brought you a potion for the pain.”
“Very kind of you Severus.”
“...You’re welcome.”
“...”
“Remus?”
“Yes?”
“...You were missed.”
“...That’s sweet of you Severus.”
“Yes...well...”
“Would you like to come in to talk?”
“I had hoped that we had done our fill of talking already. I was hoping to skip to the hot sex.”
“Agreed.”